Keep on Going, Part 565.5

It's been a year since I posted on this blog. During those months, I wasn't motivated to showcase my so called "wisdom" when I was going through not working, not finding a job, finding a bad job, and finally finding a good one. All in the span of a very long 2008. The recession was here in Florida, early.

Still, I did provide resume suggestions and career search ideas as a free service to friends, family and friends of family, as I always had been doing. But I felt too demoralized to share further in a blog or article, as I had tried to do for the first half of 2008.

Searching for work, I think, is some of the hardest work there is. We seldom, perhaps outside of dating, have to work very hard to "sell ourselves."

That first date, particularly with someone we may barely know, is often filled with a wondrous mix of nervousness, anticipation, fear, joy, panic and expectation that seldom comes together so forcefully. Every movement, every word, every silence, ever gesture, or lack thereof, seems to have more meaning than usual. And, as we try to apprise the situation, someone is apprising us. His or her criteria are different from ours, and we don't quite know how we're being looked at or considered. If we find commonality, interest, attraction, we're more upset if things don't work.

But there is an almost universal truth that covers both the dating experience and the job search experience: each of us views things differently. The puns (I think they are funny) I'm trying to impress my date with are for her annoyances that she politely puts up with, waiting for a quick exit. I felt I was witty and charming, while my date thought she'd tuned into to a very bad showcase from Comedy Central.

And I have received feedback from interviews that seems to be a clear signal that I am a serious candidate, only to find that I am not the one of choice. The interviewer's enthusiasm may have been framed for "this guy could work" while I think I hear "this guy is our choice." When I was struggling to find work, I think I viewed a lot of interviews this way. Each time that the result was different from my expectations, I got more frustrated.

Most of the time, no one is at "fault." We are a match for a person or not, and the same is true of employment opportunities: we are a match for the job or not. Problem is that we aren't usually the ones making the final decision.

Feeling rejected is never a fun thing.
And it seems to be often at the very core of job searching. Particularly in a tough market.

The simple truth is, as REO Speedwagon put it a long time ago, that we need to "Keep Pushing On." It's not an easy thing.

But, you have value: as a person and as an employee. You always have.

Help yourself. Stay in touch with friends and family, do things with people, and find things to enjoy even in your times of stress - whether it's playing with your dog, watching an old movie, or playing an old computer game. Cheap or free stuff that has great ability to distract us from stress in our lives.

Most of us have "first date gone bad" stories. However, most of us kept up the search for that "someone" because we considered the search worth the challenge.

Job searching is not much different. Things won't work. Frustration ensues. Anger shows up.

You get to show your real strength in your willingness to keep trying. To stay connected and to stay active. You win every day no matter the result, just because you stayed "in the game." In my unemployment, I learned that being active in my search was a victory in itself. It kept me moving forward and kept me in contact with people who might be able to help me. Eventually, someone did.

And sometimes any victory you can get matters. You are worth it!